Benefits of Growing Old

•  Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00
•  Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
•  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
•  It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
•  People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
•  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
•  Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
•  Your eyes won't get much worse.
•  Things you buy now won't wear out.
•  No one expects you to run into a burning building.
•  There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
•  Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
•  In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.