Confusing Signs

Spotted in a toilet of an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:  PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WILL THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPLADDER YESTERDAY  PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office lunchroom:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN  ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.   WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS 

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,  THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,  BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ,  THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR; THE BELL  DOESN'T WORK)

- courtesy of Jeanette Haskins